i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
