I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
