he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
bring money and cleavage
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
