The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
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