i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
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I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
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SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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