Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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