she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
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