please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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