how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
