sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
We left an ass print on the piano.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
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