Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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