Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
The ass gains better be worth it
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
