Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
