i'm signing you up for texting rehab
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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