Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize