Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
