how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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