They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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