Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
The air was thick with penises
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I just want nice things and good sex
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
