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So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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