I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
