We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
