We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
