I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Randomize
