If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
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