Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
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