We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize