Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(845): View more from New York

its like an ocean threw up right in your lap

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(303): View more from Colorado

If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.

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(605): View more from South Dakota

His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...

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(813): View more from Florida

Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries

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(651): View more from Minnesota

2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people

(763): View more from Minnesota

and u failed math?

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(505): View more from New Mexico

We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!

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(207): View more from Maine

I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.

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(417): View more from Missouri

How drunk are you?

(1-417): View more from Missouri

Completed.

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(913): View more from Kansas

I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock

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