im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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