So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
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Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
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