Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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