I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
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