It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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