If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
