Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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