your thong is hanging out like whoa
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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