I'm so fucking centered right now
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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