Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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