"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
