Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
