Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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