sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
