you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
