This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
