guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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