Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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