I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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