i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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