I wish my penis had an off switch
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
