Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
