I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
