dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
