she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
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