If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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