I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
