someone get that fucking seahorse.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
