Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
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