Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
