I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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