At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Life is so much better after having sex.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
