take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
