no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex on a roof
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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