I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I smell like Dick and happiness
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
