3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
