Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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