were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Randomize
