He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize